Phone calls

Today I started a new job, I am at it right now.
Just sitting here practically alone making sure that the house stays safe and quiet while the owner is out of town.
There is a lot of time to be alone and sit quietly.
This is my most destructive trigger of all ... being still.

It's funny really because when I was in high school I used to remind myself of the verse
Be still and know that I am God
Because I was always stressed out about something that surely does not matter now.


My friend came up with a strategy for me the other day, one that I absolutely loathe but found myself desperately wishing would work around 1:45 this very afternoon.
Pick up the phone, she told me.
Pick up the phone every single time it rings no matter what.
Pick up the phone so that it becomes a reflex.

Now, I like to pretend sometimes that I am a minimalist, that can live without much technology. In fact that is partially why my current apartment has none. The other reason we are without is because I knew enough to know that free access to the web lets me have free range and, well we all know what happens then... Oh and by the way, this house has all the technology I could ever want and then some.
But picking up the phone. That sounded so horrible, just like when texting first was invented and people would text you all day and you felt obligated to answer and felt chained to your phone.

But I get the idea.
When you a vulnerable and what nothing else than to just allow yourself the pleasure of giving in, getting it over with and moving on it is really easy to ignore those phone calls.
Today none came and I really wanted one to.