What have I learned

I have learned to not feel guilty about getting what I want and compartmentalizing my wants and emotional connections.

I think I have also learned that saying no is as easy as deciding to go for a run... that you may build it up in your head and hate every minute of it but later, sometimes hours later, you feel good and proud and like you accomplished something.

Not so much the latter, saying yes... where you feel really great "eating the ice cream and telling yourself you will run later" and then feeling like epic fat nasty shit afterwards. I am riding a high right now but I am waiting for the crash... it's coming because I didn't feel like being strong. Because I am convinced that it does not hurt anyone and because in the grand scheme of things, there are simply bigger fish to fry. Well that's me for the moment. An epically gross fail who couldn't care less...

out